Jhonni Blaze’s fans were distressed last week after the Love & Hip Hop star was revealed to have been missing for a few days. Some of the artist’s peers publicly took to social media to share their prayers for her after Jhonni posted a very emotional message, which some fans read as a potential suicide note. Thankfully, Jhonni was reported to be “fine” and was simply taking a break from social media. Now, she’s speaking up about what prompted her decision to go dark on social media.

“I took a mental break. I’m done explaining the reasons why. It doesn’t help me heal,” she wrote on Instagram this weekend. “You bashing me because you don’t understand depression doesn’t help me. The black community frowning on depression because we been through so much so we don’t believe it’s real is not helping me. People claiming to be a friend but be the only one who runs to a blog and bash me then can’t even publicly say sorry for lying won’t help me. I don’t know how to sugar code [sic] I only know the true feelings of what I posted and I meant every dam word because that’s what I felt inside.”

Jhonni went on to address her “disappearance,” saying, “Me disappearing meaning getting a hotel and stay off social media cry pray and get back on my medicine was my choice to heal. I wanted to be anonymous no jhonni no Jzapal. I don’t owe that to no one to understand I don’t need clout I’m already known. I needed space. I have talent no need to do clout moments when I naturally go viral for being me.”

She continued to say that “bashing” and “assumptions” are what ultimately caused her to take a step back. She also admits that she’s lost seven of her loved ones this year, and needed time to mourn.

“Look how y’all treated me when I expressed my depression,” she concluded. “Who the fuck wants to express when y’all give this same energy when you keep it inside then y’all upset when we say nothing. That’s all.”